Some Day

"You know what'll happen,"

Her tone was dreamy,

    like a breeze caught inside your house

   on a sweltering summer's day.

"You'll turn sixteen, and..."

Her eyes got dreamy, too.

"And, you'll start liking pink,

  and caring about make up,

   and playing with your hair..."

*You'll finally become the daughter

  I always wanted.*

 

It was the unthinkable, in a place

  like that.

   A bar concert by a singer we both

   liked. Weird as it was for a sixteen

   year old to like a seventies survivor band.

It was a bar concert.

  Sixteen year olds are too young to be

  in the bar.

  Unless,

  unless they get dolled up to look —

  older.

 

"Have fun at the concert."

*I'm glad I found it for you. You

   wouldn't ever have went otherwise.*

That isn't a martyrdom comment, just the

   simple truth.

   She had an awesome time.

   So that was worth it, you know.

   Brought back a t-shirt.

 

"Hey listen, we're in town."

With that bright note in her voice.

The one everybody loves, for good

  reason.

  The one that helps bring in the tips when

  she waits tables.

"But we're only here until tomorrow morning."

  That meant a half day off work, to go visit.

 

"Meet us at this mall."

  The 'us' was a warning.

"Around one."

  "Sure, we can have lunch."

  "Uh huh. Just hurry up. Don't miss the train."

 

Knowing better doesn't always stop the dreaming.

  Like a nightmare, when you know you're dreaming,

   but can't quite get awake.

   The one where you scream, and scream, and you

    can't stand it another second...

    And then you finally wake up.

 

The old days were bad.

Nobody liked shopping.

But the trips to the mall were an escape.

  It was a long walk, over an hour.

  The memorable trips are always in summer,

   or at least early spring.

   When you could wipe the road pollution off the

    blackberries growing by the side of the

    road and eat them.

    Or the younger brother could walk along,

    wreaking gruesome havoc on the seventh

     year's crop of tent caterpillars.

During those long walks...

the shopping at the end is a blur.

It didn't matter.

  It was the long walks.

  To just walk and be free of a prison

  masquerading as a house.

  To just be happy and in the sunshine or

   the rain for awhile.

On the way back, that included the one memorable

shopping stop.

  For a giant pop, shared for most of the way home.

   

So that was the dream.

Even though, to get to the mall

 involved a train trip.

And the way to where she was staying would be...

a minivan, it turned out.

 Still.

 

She was nowhere to be found, at first.

She saw first.

"I recognized that red backpack.

  You got a new hat."

 Yeah.

"This is so and so's daughter. Look what we got!"

With that bright note in her voice.

The one everybody loves, for good

  reason.

A really sweet kid, so and so's daughter.

That isn't something merely said,

 just the simple truth.

She likes pink, and plays with her hair.

She cares about clothes,

 and admits she likes make up very much,

  but she's too young to wear it.

*She's like that daughter you've always wanted.*

 

I guess I'll have to stand it at least another second.

  It seems I can't wake up.